Daylesford Neighbourhood Centre offers a wide range of services

Last week we outlined how DNC (and the other Neighbourhood Centres in Hepburn Shire) bring a massive return on investment to our communities for the very modest costs generated and income received.

In order to achieve such wonderful outcomes, aside from the courses and workshops that we offer each term, DNC also offers the following services to our community:

  • Meeting Room/Venue Hire, Conferencing
  • Video Conferencing Facilities
  • Adult Community & Further Education Courses (ACFE)
  • Events, classes, activities
  • Volley Ball & Basketball court hire
  • Squash Court hire
  • School holiday activities
  • Photocopying, Scanning, Printing, Laminating services
  • Public Hub with Free internet and computer access
  • Confidential Shredding Services
  • Job Agency and Employment services
  • One-on-One computer lessons by appointment
  • Projector Hire
  • Book Swap Library
  • Power Saving Bonus applications
  • Free legal advice
  • Free shower and laundry facilities.

If you have something in particular you would like to see at the Neighbourhood Centre, or if you feel you would like to run a course under the Adult Community & Further Education (ACFE) umbrella, call us to discuss your thoughts.  ACFE provide subsidies for courses that can provide a pathway to employment and therefore eligibility criteria can apply.  ACFE makes access to further education more affordable and provides a local learning environment.

Call 53483569 and speak to our Manager.

 

DNC Joke of the Week

A guy is at the pearly gates, waiting to be admitted, while St. Peter is leafing through the big book to see if the guy is worthy of entering.

Saint Peter goes through the book several times, furrows his brow, and says to the guy, “You know, I can’t see that you did anything really good in your life, but you never did anything bad either.  Tell you what, if you can tell me of one REALLY good deed that you did in your life, you’re in.”

The guy thinks for a moment and says, “Well, there was the time when I was driving down the highway and I saw a group of biker guys gathered around this poor girl.

I slowed down my car to see what was going on, and sure enough, there were about 20 of ’em tormenting this girl.

Infuriated, I got out my car, grabbed a tire iron out of my trunk, and walked straight up to the leader of the gang, a huge guy with a studded leather jacket and a chain running from his nose to his ear.

As I walked up to the leader, the gang formed a circle around me.

I ripped the leader’s chain off his face and smashed him over the head with the tire iron.

Then I turned around and yelled to the rest of them ‘Leave this poor, innocent girl alone! You’re all a bunch of sick, deranged animals! Go home before I teach you all a lesson in pain!’”

St. Peter, impressed, says, “Really? When did this happen?”

“Oh, about two minutes ago.”

 

[If you’ve got a better joke, (and doesn’t everyone??) send it to  admin@dncentre.org.au  and we’ll publish it. (Remember, this is a family publication! ?).  We’ll even include your name if you wish – or you can protect your anonymity!]